Still can't believe it

So Lyra comes to me today and says I miss grandma. It nearly broke my heart. I miss her so much. We had a very complicated relationship but I miss being able to call her. I miss her wisdom. In general I miss that she is gone. It seems like only yesterday she was here for Melina's first birthday party. I was so happy she came. I am glad she got to see where we live. It is sad to think of what she will not be here for and family get togethers are going to be so different from now on. It is hard not to pick up the phone and call her. I did yesterday and when it said the number you dialed has been disconnected it was like oh yeah. She is really gone. She was such an important part of our family. She was loved and now she is missed.